My Last Days Here

I am no longer here. However, I did want to finish up my blog.

My end was all unexpected and happened quickly and yet slowly. Above you can see the last photo of me, a day before I left this world.

On August 12th I collapsed. Fortunately it was a morning when all my family was present so I got to the local hospital without running there with the baby. From there they sent me and my pop to NYC Veterinary Specialists Hospital in Manhattan. I had emergency surgery after being stabilized. It was uncertain whether I was going to make it or not. I was paralysed the following morning and after 5 days in ICU I was released. After several days of almost round the clock massaging and love from my family I stood up by myself and after a week or so, was able to walk, rather wobble around. It turns out I had a stroke but was expected to recover well from it.

Unfortunately, the underlying cause was cancer, hemangiosarcoma, cancer of blood vessels. It is an aggressive cancer and one with a poor prognosis. After my second chemotherapy treatment, a treatment that may have extended my life about 6-8 months, the cancer took over.

In the end I was able to enjoy my own backyard for a couple of weeks since we moved around the same time as my illness and for that I am happy. I had many rocks to dig for and twigs to chew. Most exciting was being off leash for days on end. After being an urban dog all my life, I retired to the suburbs and had my final days in the grass and under the trees. See below for yourself, my last few weeks.


I had almost half an acre!











And a big room from where I could be seen to make sure I was okay.














Plus more room for us all to hang out in together. Here we are taking a much needed nap from unpacking.













So many rocks to roll around in my mouth and dig for!













Every now an then I did come up for air.

On September 22nd, a day I felt poorly, I went again to the specialist hospital in Manhattan where they found that the cancerous tumors were bleeding throughout my chest. That is what was making me so very tired such that I didn't feel like digging for rocks, eating the porterhouse steak my mommy cooked for me, or even walking around. I did eat a hard-boiled egg before leaving for the hospital and drank water, signs my mommy thought were good but she wanted to check with the doctors anyway. There I ate a few handfuls of cashews from my grandmother and that was my final meal. They tasted good even though I was so tired chewing.

My mommy held me in her arms for some time at the hospital, crying and telling me how great I was and how lucky she was to have me in her life. As my daddy held her, she held me, and the doctor put some fluids into me that made me fall asleep and leave my family in deep sadness. They miss me.
Hope you enjoyed my blog. Farewell

Otherwise Much the Same

In other ways, life is much the same. I am eating baked beets.
And dropping my food all over the floor. For now, the baby animal is not able to interfere with my food. I think she will soon be crawling on the food and into my food. I hope she is not going to be a competitor for my baked beets.

A Slice of Life

As she entertains herself, I enjoy her body heat. Pretty soon she will fall asleep as well and we will have another nap.

Napping and Bonding

Her feet are cute like my paws are cute.

We are about the same length right now, just stretched out that is. She will use two feet to stand up and I use four paws.

She Does What I Do

We hang out on the couch and space out.

She Likes Me

Nice top. I guess she likes me.

What to make of this?

I am not sure what her purpose is. I can see that she takes up a lot of time even though she is very small. All I know is that I am not being pampered as I used to be. Sometimes when she is quiet and in a box that rocks, I am scooped up for some pampering time. Otherwise there does not seem to be much order or predictability at home anymore. I recall something strange too. Several times Alpha (mommy) picked me up and put me in her lap. She cried and apologized to me for neglecting me. However, things are settling down and I am finding myself in her lap again more often and she is not crying anymore either.

Something Came

A couple of months ago she deflated and this arrived at home. Perplexing but she smells familiar. I suprised the humans by not barking at her. That is because she doesn't smell like an intruder or something foreign. I think I have been smelling her for some months before she arrived. Maybe she was inside that protruding belly?